If there is one question im asked over and over its how can we tell the Doms from the frauds? Its a hard question to answer but yet so simple in reality. It all comes down to time.

With the multitude of Submissives online it's easy for a Dom to find one that is so needy that they will jump on the Dom bandwagon in no time at all. The Dom has to exert very little
effort to find one who will quickly move from online to R/T without thinking about safety or what is best for her or him.

This obvious neediness, makes the hunt easy. So why worry about the Submissives that take their time and want to go slow? Why waste time on them when there are hundreds out there that will jump at the chance to be tied to a bed and flogged or whipped?

The answer is they wont, usually. Nothing is foolproof, nothing is without risk, both emotional and physical. But if a Submissive slows the pace or keeps the pace slow and gets to know the Dom as a friend first and if that friendship works the D/S will fall into line if it is meant to be.

We all have heard the typical Lounge Lizard Dom pick up lines, so I wont repeat them here, but any Dom who ever tries to take control before they try to get to know you as a person is not worth his weight in that control.

Any Dom who immediately wants you to call him Sir when you first meet him is a fraud. respect for a Dom is earned, but respect for a person begins when you meet them then it is either proven or not.

Doms respect Submissives who are strong, not needy cyber leaches who kneel for every Dom that they meet. In R/T would you as a Submissive kneel before someone you didn't know? Would you call someone you didn't know Sir before knowing their given name?

If you are trying to bridge the gap between online D/S and R/T then a foundation has to be built as in any relationship. As a Submissive think of yourself and a potential Dom as a real
concrete foundation.

When building a concrete foundation, you never run out and grab some rocks and sand, dump it into a form and water it. You have to have the right amounts of rock and sand, then you slowly mix the water in before you pour the wet concrete into the form. As a Submissive you in a sense are the concrete, the Dom the mixer. If he is truly wanting a relationship to grow and harden he takes his time to make sure the mix is just right. He takes the rock and sand in the right mixture (he gets to know you first), then he adds the water (his control) only after the consistency is right.

He wants the foundation to set properly and harden so it will stand the test of time. A fraud doesn't care, he just wants his check, his pay (someone to take advantage of). He throws
everything together, gets in and out before you realize that as the foundation hardens it begins to crack, leaving nothing but an unstable mess behind for someone else to fix.

Translated into reality, this usually leaves an emotionally unbalanced Submissive behind, one afraid to trust, to respect and leery of the next Dom to come.

Time although seemingly fleeting, is a Submissives best friend. For with the test of time as in all things any relationship can become a hardened foundation built to withstand the test of
time.