Here are some question you should ask and things you should discuss with your partner before you start your scene...

What do you want out of a scene?

What role do you want to take: Top, Bottom, Dom, Sub?

How much experience have you had? (References)

What medical conditions (allergies, joint problems, asthma, heart problems, STDs etc) do you have?

What is necessary for you to consider it a "good scene"? SM? Orgasm? Service?

What limits (hard limits) do you have?

What quirks or buttons should the other person know about?

Where do *you* draw the line for defining sex? penetration, genital fondling, nudity... (and where are your limits)

If safe sex is indicated, again, how do *you* define it?

How do you feel about multiple players? same gender, opposite gender?

How do you feel about marks: bruises, welts, etc. (no way, desired badges of honor, only on places that won't show?) and how easily do you mark?

How discreet do you feel you need to be (marks, collars, public activities...) ?

How do you feel about the following specific activities, (blindfolds, gags, face slapping, hair pulling, clothespins, clamps, tickling, hot wax, ice, genital torture, nipple/breast torture, shaving (armpits, legs, genitals, belly?) piercing, cutting, golden showers or golden cocktails, enemas, fisting, scat play etc...)?

If you do impact play, do you prefer sting or thud, paddles, floggers, canes, single tails?

How you feel about role-playing? Age-play (infant, youngster, teenager) or other scenarios (captured spy, blackmailed executive, rapist, rape victim, master, slave, daddy, teacher)? How about cross dressing, or dressing differently for a dominant?

How do you feel about humiliation, (derogatory names (cunt, slut, prick, worm) insults (stupid, ugly) activities - what do *you* consider humiliating activities: some are embarrassed/humiliated by kneeling, or wearing a collar, or being on leash in public; others find enemas or being made to "bark like a dog" or wearing a anal plug humiliating)?

Do you get into service or being served? If so, what *kind* of service, (maid/ housecleaning, valet (bathing, grooming, shining shoes), personal service (lighting cigarettes, serving beverages) massage, chauffeur etc...)?

For relationships if D/s is involved, is the Dominant in charge only during scenes, or will Dominant be able to give orders to be carried out outside of scene? Who gets to call a scene, and how? How far does Dominant's control extend, (religion, employment, finances, children, education, place of residence, etc..)?

Ask yourself if you feel truly comfortable with your partner and yourself in any scene and has all safety consideration been made?

Are you sure this is what you want? Remember, if it is not consensual, it is abuse!!