1. If you get e-mail from someone whose address is something like "monster_fuckpole@$domain.com" or "jizzbang2002@$domain.com," you can bet your bottom dollar that the contents of that e-mail are going to be both irritating and stupid.

2. Easily half the people who write to you are terrified.

3. The other half of the people who write to you are discontented in some way or another, and about 80% of them are firmly convinced that their lives would be immeasurably improved if only they were getting to engage in some kind of sexual activity in which they are presently not engaging.

4. Roughly 75% of heterosexual men appear to believe that if they were to allow anything to be inserted into their butts, it would instantly turn them into limp-wristed lisping nellie faggots. A majority of the other 25% are desperately trying to figure out how to ask their girlfriends/wives to strap it on for them and fuck them silly, but are worried that their girlfriends/wives will think they're really gay if they ask for such a thing.

5. Roughly 60% of heterosexual women whose husbands/boyfriends evince an interest in crossdressing are frightened by it because they think it must mean that their partner is secretly gay. Another 10% or so who are slightly more exposed to the trans spectrum of things get worried that it means that their partner wants to become a transsexual woman. Precious few heterosexual women whose partners evince an interest in crossdressing are even remotely interested in helping their partners femme up, and even fewer are interested in enacting "forced femme" fantasies for their partners. This is seen as a crying shame by their partners, for whom having their partners enact "forced femme" fantasies upon their persons is often at the tippy-top of their fantasy list. I have gotten a lot of these kinds of letters.

6. A majority of straight men who write to a sex writer asking how they can convince their female partners to engage in a FF/M threesome are easily irritated by the suggestion that what's sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander, and perhaps they ought to consider offering a MM/F threesome to their partners as an incentive to explore the whole threesome experience.

7. Likewise, a majority of straight men who write to a sex writer asking how they can convince their female partners to agree to recieve anal penetration are generally unsympathetic to the suggestion that perhaps they should let their female partners go to bat first, and that offering up their own cute li'l hineys in the spirit of "if it's good enough for you, it's good enough for me" would be a good way to build butt-sex solidarity. (See #4.)8. Women never write to sex writers asking what they can do to "make" someone have an orgasm.

9. The lies people will tell other people in order to weasel out of sexual responsibility are legion. (No, dammit, no, having had chicken pox when he was 6 did NOT make him infertile, and neither did having mono in college.)

10. Everyone with a non-hetero-vanilla-normative sexual preference thinks, at one point or another, that s/he is the only person on the face of the earth who has ever had this preference, and the only person who ever will, and that s/he is all alone. Not true. And hence we have the modern Internet.

11. Most of the people who write to sex writers wanting to know how one goes about asking one's partner to engage in such-and-such sexual activity have never asked, for one thing, and for another, what they really want to be told isn't how to ask, but how to guarantee that the answer will be yes.

12. An astonishing number of people appear to believe that it isn't sex if it doesn't involve putting a penis into a vagina. These same people are generally baffled by how they contracted STDs when they "didn't have sex."

13. Yes, yes, a thousand times yes: It's possible to have great sex and not have an orgasm/have simultaneous orgasms/have multiple orgasms. Stop beating yourselves up and enjoy the ride. If you thought it was fine, then it was. Honest. The Russian judge is not going to come busting out of the closet to cite you on a technicality and disqualify you from the games.